check out my new mind blowing blog.. http://diaryforlovers.blogspot.com/ ....
4 days ago
COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON...TO YOU ALL
I'M actually lost on what i want this particular blog to be all about...you have all seen my past posts...n that is actually the kind of articles/stories i can get stories that i can get or write...so i won't mind if you all can help me to find a direction on this blog....thanks a bunch.....
I'M actually lost on what i want this particular blog to be all about...you have all seen my past posts...n that is actually the kind of articles/stories i can get stories that i can get or write...so i won't mind if you all can help me to find a direction on this blog....thanks a bunch.....
Posted by Ayob Alariwo | Posted in HUMOUR | Posted on 5:43 PM
Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. I have some Nigerians up here in Heaven who are causing some problems. They are swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they've got Maggi sauce and Ogbono soup all over their robes; hamhocks, Isi-ewu, Cow-feet and Bokoto bones are all over the streets of Gold.
Some folk are walking around with one wing, they have been late taking their turn in keeping the stairway to heaven clean. There are soda bottles all over the clouds, some aren't even wearing their halos, saying it doesn't fit with their hairstyles."
The Lord said, "I made them special, as I did you, my angel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you really want to know about problems, let's call the Devil."
The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? What the...!, hold on one minute." The Devil returned to the phone and said, "Hello Lord, what can I do for you?"
The Lord replied, "Tell me what kind of problems you are having down there."
The Devil said, "Wait one minute," and put the Lord on hold.
After 5 minutes he returned to the phone, and said "Okay, I'm back. What was the question?"
The Lord said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"
The Devil said, "Man, I don't belieee.....hold on, Lord". This time the Devil was gone for 15 minutes.
The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry Lord, I can't talk right now. These Nigerians put the fire out, and now they are trying to install air conditioning! They even bribed my guys!!"
Some folk are walking around with one wing, they have been late taking their turn in keeping the stairway to heaven clean. There are soda bottles all over the clouds, some aren't even wearing their halos, saying it doesn't fit with their hairstyles."
The Lord said, "I made them special, as I did you, my angel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you really want to know about problems, let's call the Devil."
The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? What the...!, hold on one minute." The Devil returned to the phone and said, "Hello Lord, what can I do for you?"
The Lord replied, "Tell me what kind of problems you are having down there."
The Devil said, "Wait one minute," and put the Lord on hold.
After 5 minutes he returned to the phone, and said "Okay, I'm back. What was the question?"
The Lord said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"
The Devil said, "Man, I don't belieee.....hold on, Lord". This time the Devil was gone for 15 minutes.
The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry Lord, I can't talk right now. These Nigerians put the fire out, and now they are trying to install air conditioning! They even bribed my guys!!"
Posted by Ayob Alariwo | Posted in BOYS STUFF. | Posted on 4:06 PM
BRO'S CODE
THE CODE FOR THE BRO'S AND THE BRO'S ONLY...SO LADIES PLEASE BACK OFF.....I MEAN BACK OFF NOW.
SORRY GUYS I WAS JUST MAKING SURE THIS SACRED DOCUMENT THAT I AM ABOUT TO GIVE YOU ALL DOESN'T GET TO THEM...SO ENJOY
AND MAKE SURE ALL THE RULES ARE FOLLOWED DILIGENTLY......
I. Bros before hoes.. Breaking this rule is to commit the cardinal sin against Team Testosterone.
II. Never drink the last beer, unless you've been granted specific permission that it's OK.
III. If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:
A. Was an ex-girlfriend.
B. Your friend specifically told you he wanted her.
C. Is you're buddy's sister.
However, if it's your buddy's cousin, well she's up for grabs, and you're welcome to rub it in his face for years to come.
IV. Never diss a guy if his team just lost a crushing game. I lost approximately nine friends last October who felt the need to bust my balls when the Red Sox lost to the Devil's Bitches. Just leave it alone, it's kinder to pick on them for a dead relative.
V. You must never own a cat.
VI. If you get 2 tickets to the big game, the priority list for granting the second ticket is as follows:
1. Your best friends (in order of how long you've known them).
2. Your acquaintances.
3. Your co-workers.
4. The mailman.
5. The UPS guy.
6. NASA.
7. John Kerry.
....1,485,726. Your girlfriend.
YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THE COMPLETE E-BOOK BY CLICKING HERE.
YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THE AUDIO BOOK BY CLICKING HERE.
YOU CAN ALSO DOWNLOAD THE VIDEO FROM BARNEY SIMPSONS BY CLICKING HERE.
I was able to pull the following from the CBS site:
ARTICLE 26:
"A bro will, in a timely manner, alert his bro to the existence of a girl fight." A Bro must never hesitate before communicating the possibility of fisticuffs between two humans of the female variety [[HENCEFORTH "GIRL FIGHT"]], in an effort to make possible and probable that another Bro or Bros can partake in observation. A timely manner is open to interpretation based on the initial Bro's viewing and processing of the potential feminine conflagration. Said Bro must use any and all methods of media distribution at his disposal, including but not limited to: telecommunications, elbow nudging, fiber optics, the Broney express, and postcards. If an informed Bro is unable to witness the girl fight firsthand, the spotter Bro is responsible for documenting and relating details of the girl fight via pictures, video*, or barring any other reasonable method, interpretive dance and/or pantomime. Tabling Bro obligations to witness a XX chromosomal scuffle is not only condoned, but encouraged, and in some cases, required. Please refer to the Brobligation rubric as elucidated in AMENDMENT 83: "The REALLY hot sister and other hump trumps." * SEE ZaBroder film
ARTICLE 77:
"A Bro never cries."
ARTICLE 89:
"A Bro may never pursue the mom of another Bro." Be it here resolved that at no point is it permissible for one Bro to engage in carnal delicacies with another Bro's mother. It is, however, allowed and encouraged for one Bro to graphically suggest to a Bro the athletic feats, animalia, and/or machinery utilized during a fictional encounter with his mom. [[NOTA BENE: It is customary for a Bro to avoid such Brocularity if his Bro's mom is a 9 or better, for fear of Oedipal inducement.]] Should a Bro discover his Bro is in fact adopted, he is free to pursue his Bro's adoptive mother, but only after first corroborating non-biological parentage through notarized birth certificates, hospital records, or comparative dioxyribonucleic acid gel electrophoresis, whichever is easiest. Since the adopted Bro cannot legitimately claim to have shared a canal with his Bro, ARTICLE 89 expressly prohibits the adopted Bro from invoking the Sloppy Second clause in any related filings with the International Court of Bros. Though the mom of a Bro is always off limits, the step-mom of a Bro is allowed if she initiates it and/or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing. If she looks good in it.
YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THE COMPLETE E-BOOK CLICKING HERE.
YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THE AUDIO BOOK BY CLICKING HERE.
YOU CAN ALSO DOWNLOAD THE VIDEO FROM BARNEY SIMPSONS BY CLICKING HERE.
Posted by Ayob Alariwo | Posted in HUMOUR | Posted on 8:08 AM
Why is it so hard to tell the truth...yet so easy to tell a lie, why do
we sleep in the church. but when the sermon is over we suddenly wake
up?, why is it so hard to talk about God...but so easy to talk about
sex?, why are we so bored to look at a Christian magazine...but so easy
to read a playboy magazine?, why is it so easy to delete a Godly
offline messages ...yet we forward the nasty ones? why are churches
getting smaller...but yet bars and clubs are growing??.....think about
it.
Posted by Ayob Alariwo | Posted in HUMOUR | Posted on 2:05 AM
This is what a guy wrote to a systems analyst
(Marriage Software Division):
Dear Systems Analyst,
I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as 'Boys' Night out 2.5' and 'Shayo 5.3' no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected ' Saturday Premiership Viewing Center 6.3' always fails and 'Saturday Shopping 7.1' runs instead.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite IT applications. Be it online or offline.
I am thinking of going back to 'Girlfriend 7.0', but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please help?
... AND THIS IS WHAT OUR ANALYST SAID:
Dear Customer,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your current platform.
You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed.
Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the.........
C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system
. It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.
Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programmed can be very rewarding.
To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as 'Gifts 2..0' and 'Chocolates 5.0' or 'HUGS\ KISSES 600.0' or 'TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING 1000.0' or even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1' (if Child processing has already started)
. DO NOT under any circumstances install 'Secretary 2.1' (Short Skirt Version) or 'One Nightstand 3.2' (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly CRASH.
BEST WISHES!
Yours, Systems Analyst
(Marriage Software Division):
Dear Systems Analyst,
I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as 'Boys' Night out 2.5' and 'Shayo 5.3' no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected ' Saturday Premiership Viewing Center 6.3' always fails and 'Saturday Shopping 7.1' runs instead.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite IT applications. Be it online or offline.
I am thinking of going back to 'Girlfriend 7.0', but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please help?
... AND THIS IS WHAT OUR ANALYST SAID:
Dear Customer,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the Wife 1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM. Actually, Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything on your current platform.
You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed.
Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed, I recommend you keep it Installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the.........
C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE Program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system
. It may be necessary to run C:\ APOLOGIZE\ FORGIVE ME.EXE a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.
Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programmed can be very rewarding.
To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as 'Gifts 2..0' and 'Chocolates 5.0' or 'HUGS\ KISSES 600.0' or 'TENDERNESS\ UNDERSTANDING 1000.0' or even Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1' (if Child processing has already started)
. DO NOT under any circumstances install 'Secretary 2.1' (Short Skirt Version) or 'One Nightstand 3.2' (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly CRASH.
BEST WISHES!
Yours, Systems Analyst
Posted by Ayob Alariwo | Posted in Entertainment | Posted on 7:59 PM
Koko mansion a reality show that was on satellite tv in Africa.It was a reality show by the famous Nigerian artist 'D-BANJ',who is also an ambassador of youths to Africa..The show was meant to help look for an intelligent and beautiful wife...i bet this goal wasn't achieved with ladies like this there.
This is a proper example of a lady with so much confidence,even though her confidence has made her to slack at other aspect of her life...like her communication with English language.....Please ladies guys need you all to be confidence and also learn to communicate with proper English,enjoy the video
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